Tokyo, I hope to be there......

Tokyo has a special place in my heart. I like Disneyland since 14, but that's due to my childlike-ness and idealistic nature. Over the last 8 years, I have travelled to Tokyo over 10 times, and each time, it touches me. The place may be fun, but it has a deeper meaning. I like the culture, the style and my friends there. It has 2 faces: a very materialistic look and a very serenity feel. Both fits me well, especially the latter. I love my country-side visits during the different seasons, the stay at Kita-Ayase, the seasonal fruits and sweets, and the very unique Tokyo aroma..... I always can recognise that smell. Suddenly, I wonder if that is home-sick-ness?

I don't know why. My heart is there, I know. So is my good friend's. :)

(Today is Sunday, I will be at home, and I am going for my run and swim now, thereafter I will have my sandwich dinner. I got raisins bread, ham, bacon, egg, tomatos.... yum yum)

Rest rest rest!

The week has been a fast one. I am still trying to cope with slowly down my pace for the time being and cooling down from the anxiety of job search and work stress. Definitely, it is much better than the week before, and I am happy so long it is the road to recovery.

In life, we cannot rush things or expect everything in our favor. Sometimes, we are just too spoilt because we have been blessed with a rather smooth journey most of the time. So we have to learn to accept unpleasant happenings will definitely happen sometimes. In addition, we have to keep reminding ourselves that we must not make the same mistakes, even though it always happens unintentionally. Never mind the above, so long, we remain confident and patient in our pursuit in life.

Yhew, it is weekend. I will take a good break and rest at home. I will also do some sports too :) Saturdays are such a luxury and I love it!

It is time for a break.......

My decision has been made, I should be relieved, but I am still not quite there yet. Well, it takes time.

I went for an interview today. The contents of the interview were not important, and I am not too concern of the outcome of this one. After the interview, I really felt that I was very tired, physically and mentally. Chasing for interviews at this stage and facing those idiots at working place were not bringing me anywhere these two months, but worn my soul slowly.

Yes, I will slow down my pace where job search is concerned, and wait patiently for the day for me to leave the working place. Suddenly, I felt...... my good friends are right, I need a long break.

When a decision has been made..... Yeah!

As my last post, when a decision is made, the sky is clear. Yes, the happenings today affirmed my decision, and there should be no turning back. The road, one month ahead, should be simple now. Back to basics, and stay a low profile. This decision seems so difficult, but yet still so easy. I am relieved, and very happy with the support and encouragement from so many wonderful friends around me. I felt shi-a-wa-se (so fortunate) neh :) Whatever happens in the next month will not change my mind now, and right now, I just have to look ahead.

Many friends have given me good and simple advice, and that changes things from complicated to simple. Hontoni hontoni totemo arigato, folks!

I proclaim that days of miseries are over.... at last!

(And the bad bad luck is gone ......)

Summary of Advice from Friends

I was kind of helpless and lost last few days. But I am very fortunate to have good advice from friends: 1. There is nothing you can do for things you cannot control. Perhaps, just endure and stay a low profile. Having a high profile may jeopardise things. 2. You need not speak badly of people (in interviews) but you need to give credit to them too, if possible. 3. You just have to regain confidence. Do not over-think!

Just few simple words, now the sky is clear!

YES! A "Miserable" Day Is Over

Since yesterday night, I knew that today was gonna be a very difficult day. However, I chose to ignore it yesterday night, even refusing to do much mental preparation, like I would used to. In addition, I just reminded myself that today is "just another 8 hours in office, so it should pass very fast". Gladly to say, today has came and gone. Yes, I do have disappointment and frustration, but it is finally over, and I thought it went through smooth enough without much miseries or pain as people would expect. Yes, I got my migraine, but no, I am not affected. I knew I would normally would usually, but this time, I took control of my thoughts.

For that, I gave a pat to myself. To all my friends out there, I promise that I will take care of myself :)

Maze.....again?

Today, I felt that I was lost in a maze. Well, then the solution has to be how to walk out of the maze. It may be a long, deep maze and everyone yearns for a map to get out, or some magic carpet to escape. In reality, to get out of the maze, I just have to walk out by myself, whether I are smart or not. There may be help along the way, and of course, I am very lucky to have so many support from my wonderful pals out there, but walking out (smartly) ultimately relies mainly on myself. Eventually, I know I will walk out, so while walking out, I am learning the lessons along the way, picking up bits and pieces. And I shall take this opportunity during the journey to be a stronger person.

"The lessons will keep repeating itself until it is learnt"

An achievement...... finally

I have a remarkable achievement today. I felt that today I managed not to think too much (thus no extreme-ism or negativity), take things at work easy (ignoring the non-sense) and just work with not too much emotions. To many of my friends out there, this may just be another ordinary day. To me, it is completely different. I always care about what people think of me, and what will I become if things turn out badly, so this is a good change to me, FINALLY. So I should keep up the stamina :) A big hug to myself!

This Monday is not so blue ... afterall

Mondays are known to be blue. There is a joke today, someone asked me to lift up my legs to check my shoe sole, to see if I drag myself to work. Surprisingly surprisingly it was not so blue after all.

Maybe, I didn't think about working during the weekend, maybe I didn't think of people I do not like, maybe I didn't think of being too ambitious at work, maybe I didn't care at all. Essentially, it comes and goes, and it is gone now :) Perhaps, this teach me a lesson: do not focus on things you don't like and do not keep your mind wanders too much.

(By the way, is Halloween near the corner?)

Chill out ..... it is a lazy sunday afternoon

It is a cool sunday afternoon now, which reminds me of autumn in Tokyo. Today is the day for resting, relaxing, lazing, and do lots of nothing. Just that I do not believe in sleeping on a relaxing sunday afternoon, as I like to feel every moment of the lazy mood. I have just prepared a simple fruit salad, and have them with a nice cup of tea later. Perhaps a jog in the late evening..... These are just simple things that can keep me happy :)

Lost....Time to Find Your Way Out

I have been lost in my thoughts recently, over 2 issues: happenings at work and career search, and sad to say, it all relates to the W*** monster. Sometimes, things can be complicated if we think or analyse too much about the risk and benefits involved. It will confused the lifestyle. Perhaps, sometimes, we have thought too much and too far....which makes us lost in the deep jungle. Sometimes, in view of the excessive thinking, we may even been drawn to illusions, which I have been. The above can be detrimental to one's mind and body, and they should be curb immediately.

So, the most important thing is to wake up and go back to the basics. Life still goes on, and life can be lived in a simple & basic way. So this week, I have been lost, but I have decided to go back to the basics now and discard all those "silly monkey" thoughts.

Going back to the basics, is certainly one way to untie those unworthy complicated messages that keep popping in the mind. Yhew!

(Okie, it is saturday, and I will start this day beautifully now ...... )

Earthquake .....but stand firm!

There is an earthquake in Singapore today, about 7:15 pm, due to a bad earthquake from Indonesia. I felt it. Using the same analogy, I felt quakes from the office, when 2 of my new colleagues, 2 weeks and 3 weeks old respectively, resigned today, due to cultural differences. Coincidentally, this afternoon, during a job interview, an interviewer asked, why do I move so often?

Things are really really moving very fast this decade, we moved as well... you never small know, for instance, an earthquake. There are many reasons for big movements or changes. I firmly tell myself that I do not need to account to anyone except myself. Even if there are external factors, I need to get myself to get the best out of it, protect my own interest, move on and NOT be affected by them.

Planning is only for myself, and if there is a change, I would need to change my plans fast. Panic in an earthquake is useless. Essentially an earthquake can change my physical position, but what's most important is, I am not emotionally affected by such changes. I cannot let outside factors affect me. So, I have to stay steady and cool :)

Release it .... when it is time

Sometimes, when one is too frustrated with circumstances in work, he tends to endure for the sake of money, security and other liabilities. Getting angry is fine sometimes, and tolerating is fine too. However, there is always a time, we need to release such emotions and the negative feelings, otherwise, it can impact our life negatively too.

I was asked to counsel a junior colleague today in view of her "underperformance". That's a difficult task as both of us are so new, and thus, I decided to encourage her to take up more challenges, without making her feeling bad on her own performance. While there may be instances that she poured out her frustrations and petty accusations, I advised her that it is time to leave behind her negativities and move forward. Essentially, blaming someone for old past events without looking forward will bring her nowhere. From counselling, I learnt too, and I am happy about it. (I am not sure about her acceptance on my theory and I don't care either) Essentially, releasing of negativities and moving on, is something that I also have now got to remind myself :) If we do not release, we will never grow.....

For once, I really have to disagree with my favorite character, Peter Pan.....

Sundays ? 土曜日 ?

The past saturday was undoubtedly beautiful, while it is much harder to sustain an equally good sunday, for many reasons including "signs that the nice weekend is coming an end soon", "no late nights", "w*** monster crawling back". However, I know it is all up to me, i.e., how I programme my own thoughts and my determination to make it a nice Sunday, otherwise, it would have gone to waste.

When it comes to programming of thoughts, apart from the usual "be positive" signal, it also has got to do with planning what to keep in your mind and what to do for the rest of the day. In my mind, I told myself, I am enjoyin this day, enjoy myself and only happy thoughts can harbour in my mind. As for what I want to do for the day, I intend to do some good cooking for my friends and catch my mindless dvds. But first, a heartily brunch is a definitely going to take place soon.

Let's all have a beautiful day, and make it as good as a Saturday!

Beautiful Saturday

I was always caught with work, work and still work during weekdays, be it office hours, or after office hours. Weekends must therefore be a time to put a halt to the w*** monster, and be the real ME!

Saturday always starts with breakfast with a close friend and housework follows next, and following, it will be anything relaxing and mindless, with some extent of simple, inner peace. It can be cooking for friends, visiting friends, have a casual swim, going downtown or watching mindless DVDs ... so long it re-charges the tired soul, and so long it is harmless "Sukoshi Nihonjin-cy" fun - in my own way :)

Looking back, I am happy to realise that I am really able to segregate saturdays from the rest of the week, it is a day, I can happily called my own. This may be an easy task for some, but I thought it took me quite a few years to master this skill of segregation. This is important to me especially considering my fluctuating emotions these years. It is a day that truly belongs to me and better still, I need not worry of working blues since the next day is also a none-working day.

Today, I will visit some friends who will cook for me, and I believe there will be a good chat thereafter. Anyway, whatever that is gonna happens later today, I knew Saturdays will always be the special day for me. Always, with no doubts.

(Saturday is also the best time to enjoy a good cup of tea)

As For One Day

Just when I thought yesterday was bad at work, and wondered, how would I be able to survive further? And I dreaded badly yesterday for today. Well, it turned out that it was still an interesting day today, and I actually enjoyed my work somehow, at least for those activities that went through today. So, the morale of today's story is, there are terrible days and when you expect it to be a long continuous drought, you realise that the extent of the terrible-ness varies every day, sometimes to a very minimal or none at all. Life has its surprises afterall.

The cafe interview was smooth, and I actually enjoyed it. At least, I knew the interview went well, thanks to tips from a good friend. Whether I would be selected is another story as my competitors could be more suitable to the job.

I got another piece of news that I was not selected for another position, but that's quite ok, as it was like my warm-up exercise, and it may not be a choiced one afterall. You win some and you lose some. Somethings losing can be winning, and you never know it, whether, it is indeed a blessing in disguise to lose this interview.

Tomorrow is another day, and today, I am happy to say that it is a good day, because I see intrinsic developments of myself and how I have made use of this day. So tomorrow is another story to come......

(So eventually, Belle did found her happiness with Beast)

Sukoshi Nihonjin Debut

It's my debut mail. Hopefully this can be a new start to everything. A new way of looking at things, a new way to enjoy things and a new part of my life.

I thought I have always subconciously like to be heard rather than to be listened, thanks to my close friends who have been pampering me. Life has been good to me, and I will in turn to make my life a good one! Perhaps I have been too negative, so now it is time to be a new self, a positive one :)

While I am not too sure about myself in the near future about my career, but I think what's most important is to make each day a fulfilling one..... like the heroine in 1リットルの涙。

Tomorrow is my interview with the next potential employer. The interesting thing is in a café. That should be a change for a long while. I hope to charm him and do my best!

I will keep all updated about the results! Wish me best of luck, folks.

Here’s some peaches to share.

(Actually, today is not a smooth day, but what the heck, it doesn’t deserve any mention here)